Well today I went to the Funeral Home to find out how I go about having the cemetery plot opened in Mid April so we can have Mom's ashes buried. They were so helpful to me during this really stressful time. Then I had to go to the Memorial store and get a headstone - my gosh there are so many choices but I knew what I wanted because I had gone to the cemetery yesterday and took pictures of my Grandfather's headstone - now I just need to wait for the store to go to the cemetery and measure, etc. So, it looks like I will need to have Mom's ashes shipped to CT in April so my sons, their wives and children can join my husband and I at the cemetery.....Mom chose not to have a wake or funeral - she always said "see me when I'm alive not when I'm dead" so I'm just going to have my family join us to say good bye to the best woman in the world.
She really raised my sons - I was a single Mom for many years and Mom always watched them for me - in fact when I worked two jobs I went to work at 8am and didn't come home until 10pm the boys slept at her house and came home on weekends. The reason my two sons grew up to be such wonderful men is all because of my Mom.
I am feeling so depressed today - I thought after all the crying I had done over the past three weeks that I could move on but today is the day I am remembering everything my Mom meant to me - I loved her so much and I just don't know how to move on. People act as if I should be over it - "she was 78 - she lived a long life" 78 is not that old (now that I am 52) she didn't have to die, she was murdered by the HealthCare we have for the elderly - I want to scream and kick and what I really feel like doing is to roll into a ball and die!
I hear people talk about their parents and what pains they are and how forgetful they have become and I would give anything to have my Mom here and able to be a pain! How do I get though this? How do I go on? I know I have to because I have grandchildren and I love them but I know I cannot ever be as good a mother or grandmother as my Mom - It sounds like I am making my Mom out to be a saint but to me she was. We talked every night of the week and we enjoyed it - it wasn't an obligation for me to call - I looked forward to talking to her and hearing about her day......Oh well, I think I'm just going to go for a walk and try to clear my head.
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2 comments:
you don't have to ship the ashes if you are going, i picked up my mom's and took them with me. saved lots of money at a stressful time. she died in december two years ago and we had the service when we could get up there in july that year. sarge was in the hospital having a pacemaker inserted when she died and there was no way to go then. but the memorial was lovely and the day was beautiful so we had it graveside.
good luck.
hugs,
bee
Oh I feel so honored that you came to my blog - I still am not sure if I shuold be writing this stuff but in a way it does make me feel better. I do need to ship the ashes because I am back home in CT and Mom is in Florida. We had originally considered bringing the ashes when we came back but my Dad was against me having the ashes in the house - not sure why. So we decided to leave the ashes until the time comes that we can bury her.
Again, thanks for coming to my blog - I read yours every day.
Always,
Lynn
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