Mood Changes

Its Friday and I am working from home because I just can't go to work. I left work yesterday at 1pm because I suddenly realized that my best friend is really gone. I know she is in a better place but the pain I am feeling is so terrible. I guess realizing that Mom is gone is the first step to getting on with my life. If only I could stop crying - I'm not good at talking about my feelings but writing is so much easier. I hurt so bad and I know death is part of the life process but to lose the person who knew you best and loved you anyway is just so hard. I want to feel better but I am also afraid that if I feel better that means I am forgetting - and I never want to forget.